As women, we tired of going to courts because yet another young woman has been murdered.

We tired of being expected to release a statement of a missing woman who will later be found murdered, We tired of wearing red lipstick as a symbol of blood, We are exhausted from being told how we must dress, how we must sit, because men might rape us.

We tired of being part of shutdown because it only shuts us up.

We tired of drafting memorandums.

We tired of marches because we still get murdered.

I, as Thandeka Shongwe Phakathi, would like to apologize to all men, who have been hurt by racial, classist, cultural, and religious systems which suggest that men must remain muscular and are often compared to steel; something that is hard has no feelings and can withstand any pain. Indoctrinations that recognize a worth of a man by his wealth and culture, in a society with a 30.1% unemployment rate and bank systems that do not favor the poor, Men are still expected to be the main providers.

A system that divided the family unit: where men had to work far from their families and could only send money as a sign of love and being good fathers and husbands.

I would like to apologize because men were told never to share their frustrations and insecurities for it renders them as a week. May the men remember that we want them as part of our world; we need them as our protectors and not perpetrators. Mah, they take up their roles in society because only they can put an end to Femicide. Men must sensitize each other on symptoms of abusive behavior, i.e., when men are sitting in a group and a lady passes by, no man should be comfortable to call a lady inappropriate words in the presence of other men.

Men must realize that we as women are human. We have our own dreams and aspirations as they do and we are not their decorum, they do not own us.

Women’s economic emancipation even in the most basic form must continue, so we can be independent of having to be afraid of leaving a relationship as we have nowhere else to go. Shelters for women must provide skills development. In the justice system, protection orders must be able to be processed immediately for many women who have died in the process of acquiring a protection order. My plea is that GBV must be given the same amount of acclaim as COVID19 as it is also an Endemic.